The Hospital

By: Oliver Roberts

 

Looking at my bandaged hand, I listened to what the social worker had to say about my case. I had been in the hospital for two hours already. I already felt stupid about my decisions with my life, my mom didn't need to bring me here. I could deal with it myself. I had been here, in the emergency room, for self harm, a pretty deep subject. I didn't want to, and by the looks of it, neither did my mother.

"Well we don't usually do this, but since we've decided you don't belong at home right now, we're going to admit you to our Mental Health Ward." He finished.

"Ok" Was all I said, but I was thinking a lot more. Admit me? Are you serious? I was doing perfectly fine on my own! Obviously, I was not.

The social worker said it would take a while to get the room set up so we had to wait down here.

"Are you OK with this?" My mom said as we watched some TV show I don't remember.

"Of course I'm not OK with this. I'm being ADMITTED to a HOSPITAL." I rushed to say. Everything that happened that night was a blur. I got to meet new people. I learned the rules (can't administer each other’s phone numbers, address, school, etc.) I didn't have a problem with the rules, everyone there was a stranger. Three girls and a boy, later I learned was Reese, Madi, Hamen, and Cameo. What they taught me I will never forget.

 

The first day I learned they get you up at seven-thirty and breakfast was at eight. After that was meeting, then Arts and Crafts/Therapist time. Then was the gym, that was really where I met everyone. Cameo and Madi were amazing at Mario Kart. Reese was my age, and Hamen had left during meeting. Madi loved talking about deep things.

"Have you ever wondered why ants are so small?" She one day said. Reese was as weird as me. She was like a bear attacking the boxing bag in the Gym. I felt pretty weird but also at home a bit. Caught between wanting to be there on the last day of school to say goodbye to my amazing friends that were moving and wanting to be healed for as long as it took. Cameo had been there for 3 months already, it took time.

 

I felt like running out of that horrible, bland place by the 2nd day. I had cried myself to sleep that night, it was horrible. My mom gave me her favorite red sweatshirt when she had came to visit me and just the smell of something familiar brought tears to my eyes. I wanted to confide in someone. Cameo was probably the best to talk to that about, although I didn't know her that well. We never had the chance to talk alone amongst ourself, we were always watched. Although we were watched we found a way to get into trouble. Reese, Madi, and I had came up with a very brief, non thought up plan. We were going to run around the ward, screaming and playing tag. It was a stupid idea, but it distracted the orderly's just enough so Cameo could steal some Oreo's for us to eat. We were sent to our rooms for "quiet time" as a punishment.

 

Madi left on the 3rd day, and it was lonely without her. Cameo, Reese, and me were the only ones left. We did the the norm until meeting, where I was attacked, everyone was sitting in the circle of chairs, talking about family. Cameo had noted that maybe I wasn't being nice enough to my mother, and that maybe I shouldn't be so "offing" to her. What they hadn't known has that she deserved to be "offed." She was one of the reasons I was in here, one of the very reasons I harmed myself. I tried to tell them this, but they were not very interested. I ran off crying to my room. They have no right to attack me like that I thought, but they did I would realize in the near future. They were only trying to help. I eventually came out of my room, still teary eyed and puffy, as they tried to explain why they did this. I accepted their apology and we continued as normal,  until 1st Gym. Two people came in and congratulated Cameo. She was graduating. They handed her a certificate and left, leaving her in tears. He all hugged her and laughed, it was the happiest we had been in a while. Maybe all of us forgot the reason we were here, or even that we WERE here. It felt warm, like we were home or someplace familiar again, and not here. I had even forgotten about this morning.

 

Since Madi had left that morning and it was just Cameo, Reese, and I, they were pretty distraught about me leaving when I told them. I swear I saw Cameo even tear up for a second, we had gotten so close over the past few days. It was basically a waiting game for my mum to come and pick me up at five. When she came I saw my mother, one of the strongest people I know, cry. I actually wanted to run up to her and hug her, and when I walked outside for the first time in 3 days, the wind whipped at my face, and I swear I felt like crying.